Thursday, December 04, 2008

2 days left and I feel awful - Stressed out

I feel awful.
I feel stress.
Totally.. stressed out.

Things are not going as I planned. As we planned.
Things are.. getting worse.
I feel like crying. I just feel like it, but I didn't.

Thanks Chucky and Sakura-chan for comforting me.

Chucky, you are right. I shouldn't stress myself too much for things that I can't control.

It's my own fault to be happy too early... haha.

This is hard.. so hard...
But I knew that having responsibilities is not an easy task.
I still am doing this because I like it and doing this makes me happy.

But my heart hurts... 2 days left and I am still unprepared.
I am getting headaches...

Neko is right. The reason I have a lot of things unprepared is not because I am doing lots of things, it's because I didn't seek help.
I didn't ask anyone to help me. I guess I was.. selfish. Is this considered as selfish too?
I don't know what to call myself.
I think I am able to do all these myself.
But instead, I am stressing out and panicking all by myself in the end.
I should've ask help from others.
But..
I don't know who to ask help from, and I am so used in doing things on my own.
I guess I need to change in this...
Why didn't I ask help?
Do I really think I am that great that I am able to do things on my own?
Or am I afraid that no one will help me?
Or I just don't trust anyone else except myself?

Maybe.. maybe I should.. change a bit of myself..
Stop going Solo.. and get a Party/Team instead...
It's not that I can't work toegther...
When someone asked for my help, I help them.
It's just that.. when it comes to myself..
I don't seek help.. I only help others...
I don't dare to ask for help...

I think I need some guidance... :'(

10 comments:

maslight said...

arine GG

I oso stress but I ask help, less stressful XD

cubex said...

ala
ask me bah

Edgar said...

i was like that on my n00b days of work. Very shy shy one asking for help, so i ended up doing it myself. uish.. gila stress i tells u.. then i learn that being in my position, i can delegate my work. well actually can bah tapi malu ask ni, being at higher position than my machais who are 10-20 years senior.. lain kau rasa bah kan ordering them..

but yeah, delegate ur work, u cant do everything by urself.

as for things u cant control, yes, dun stress urself on that.. not everything works as plan but having a backup plan always saves the day. if dun hv, just be grateful it did not any more worse than it actually is..

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