Thursday, December 04, 2008

2 days left and I feel awful - Stressed out

I feel awful.
I feel stress.
Totally.. stressed out.

Things are not going as I planned. As we planned.
Things are.. getting worse.
I feel like crying. I just feel like it, but I didn't.

Thanks Chucky and Sakura-chan for comforting me.

Chucky, you are right. I shouldn't stress myself too much for things that I can't control.

It's my own fault to be happy too early... haha.

This is hard.. so hard...
But I knew that having responsibilities is not an easy task.
I still am doing this because I like it and doing this makes me happy.

But my heart hurts... 2 days left and I am still unprepared.
I am getting headaches...

Neko is right. The reason I have a lot of things unprepared is not because I am doing lots of things, it's because I didn't seek help.
I didn't ask anyone to help me. I guess I was.. selfish. Is this considered as selfish too?
I don't know what to call myself.
I think I am able to do all these myself.
But instead, I am stressing out and panicking all by myself in the end.
I should've ask help from others.
I don't know who to ask help from, and I am so used in doing things on my own.
I guess I need to change in this...
Why didn't I ask help?
Do I really think I am that great that I am able to do things on my own?
Or am I afraid that no one will help me?
Or I just don't trust anyone else except myself?

Maybe.. maybe I should.. change a bit of myself..
Stop going Solo.. and get a Party/Team instead...
It's not that I can't work toegther...
When someone asked for my help, I help them.
It's just that.. when it comes to myself..
I don't seek help.. I only help others...
I don't dare to ask for help...

I think I need some guidance... :'(