It's not a small matter

There are some stuffs that one should not treat it as a small matter,
especially if you are not one of the people who went through all those stuffs...

Because you were not there,
you don't know everything,
you don't know what really happened...

To us, it is not a small matter at all.
Even if the other party might tell you it's just a small matter,
a 'misunderstanding'.

I know how to differentiate 'misunderstanding' and what's not.
What happened back then was definitely NOT a misunderstanding.
How much sweat and tears I shed back then.
How hurt I was, how painful it was...
The tears I shed because of those people are no lies,
No lies at all.
It's not a small matter that I can forgive so easily.
How serious it was? Very.
Like how you felt when your friends backstabbed you, betrayed you...

I don't know what they said to everyone out there...
But I will no longer trust them.
Bad stuffs about me might continue to spread...
I can't really do anything about it.
Backstab, backstab, backstab...
I've gotten used to it.

In the end it really depends on the people who hears them whether they believe the story told by one-side only or not.

Never trust anyone 100%.
Listen to both sides, but both sides might be exaggerating too.
You will never know the real truth.
So it's only up to you..
To decide on what you should think and do about it.

But really.. It's not a small matter.
It's huge matter to me that it became the biggest lesson of my life.
A lesson that teaches me to view the people and the world differently.

People.. change.
One who were friends before but not anymore...

I still feel like crying, thinking back.

But.. Sorry, things will never be the same again.
I will never forgive and forget what has happened back then...



Never......

Behind those eyes...

Are the true feelings of a person.



---
Now, a continuation from the previous blog post...

This time it's not something negative,
It's a positive one. =]
---



So it's hard to trust someone cos of all the lies...

But even with all the lies...
No matter how perfect the lies are...

They can't fool you one thing..

Feelings.

Yup, nothing more than feelings...

Look into their eyes.

You can feel the warmth in those pair of eyes.

Those feelings are true.

Words alone will not justify their true feelings.

The look in their eyes, accompanied by their true natural smile...

.. Full of truth, feelings, emotion, warmth...

Love.

=]

That is the real truth.

The Truth is...

Ugly.

That's right.

The TRUTH is UGLY.

So do you still want to know the Truth?

Even the most honest person in the world tells lies.

Because no one speaks the Truth for eternity.

---

So how do we keep on living with all the lies?

Live with the lies.

Will that help?

Will that makes us happy?

People lie to make us happy.

Should we be happy about it?

Lie to a Liar.

That's what will happen.

That's what's happening now.

Right now, in this world.

Our lives full of lies.

We lie to each other.

People say it's for our own good.

Is it true?

Is it really good for us?

I guess so.

Maybe.

...

Humans can't live without lies.

It's our nature.

We have to lie.

They have to lie.

You have to lie.

Don't know how to trust people anymore?

Don't trust.

Never trust.

There's no such thing as 'Truth'.

Lie to them, because they are lying to you.

Smartass

I'm not an emo person.
I have a happy life.
I have lots of nice friends who loves me and take good care of me.

I'm happy everyday!! ^_^











.... NOT.

Someone is trying to be a smartass again.
After ignoring him for a few weeks/months...
I had to talk to him due to some unavoidable matter.

... AND HE IS SERIOUSLY PISSING ME OFF!!

F*CKING ASSH*LE

Seriously...
Why are you still looking for trouble?
Am I still bothering you?
It's been weeks/months since I've talked to you.
Because right now I am so not gonna talk to you or even look at you anymore.
Why are you still doing this to me?
You are not young, don't be so childish.
It's really making you look more and more stupid.

I want to slap you, Mr.SmartAss.

But my friend asked me not to.
Gah! I seriously want to, this is not NATO, FYI.

I AM ONLY WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO DO SO.

Until then, I'm also waiting for the bad karma that will fall upon you.

=)

Friends..

.. like I never had before :)

I sayang you all. :3

Love my CSP family (^w^)

You all treat me so nice...

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserved to be treated so nice...

I seriously appreciate all of you - My Friends.

I will 100% pay you all back :3

Just have to wait since I can't afford anything right now... <:3

Good Evening, Haters...

Good Evening, Haters..
Why so serious?

---

Yes I do know I have attitude problems.
I am not your kindest/nicest/sweetest girl in your neighbourhood.
I am straight forward.

And I have no problem with that.

Because I know even though I have those problems (Aw come one, no one's perfect right? Or are you telling me you have no attitude problems, that you are perfect?),
I am sincere when it comes to friendship.
I have never, and will never, USE my own friend for my own benefit.
I DO NOT treat someone nice to gain their trust or loyalty to me.

All those are you and your B*llSh*ts.

---

I am sad, actually.
Quite sad.
I know you have problems with me, I mean, a lot does. Haha.
But you can't just spread and talk bad about me to everyone,
even to my own friend that I am treating him nice because I have motive?!

What.the.hell.is.that. *facepalm.gif*

I am so pissed off.
Even though I do not trust the person who told me about this 100%.
Right now I just hope my friend still trusts me.
I may not be the best or nicest friend, but...

I don't lie to my friends... I...
I'm not a fake friend....

:-\

I believe in Karma.

White Hairs

So far cubex had found 2 white hairs from me.

More and more white hairs are growing.

._.

2008/2009

I wonder.
What will happen in this year, 2009?
Of course, we can't read our future.
But I'm just curious...

---

Year 2008.
So many things happened.

I know some people lost their trust on me already.
Haha.
I do feel hurt.
They brought up issues of long time ago which is not related to current discussion.
Really, our discussion is not related at all.
Why bring up that matter..?

Sometimes, I feel that I am too young for this.
Not enough experience, not enough knowledge.
That is why people look down on me.
That is why people don't trust me.
I do, feel hurt.

I don't hate them.
Because I understand their situation.
But...
Do they know how I feel?
How I am trying my best, to make the best out of it?
Yes, I am just a kid to you.
An immature kid, with little experience and knowledge.
But do you see that I am learning?
I am learning every single day.
You may think I am wasting my time, playing everyday.
Jobless, sits in front of the computer every single day.
Internet, I do put it in good use.
You, you know a lot of things in your field.
While I, I also have more knowledge in my field.
I don't want people to look down on me.
I don't..

People changes.
Yeah...
A friend, changed.
Money, is important.
But that doesn't mean you have to be like this.
So you prefer to have money than friends?
Lies. Too many lies.
Trust people no more.
I don't hate any of you.
It's just that, a friend,
A friend who used to be one of us,
so close with us,
suddenly became someone we don't know.
Who are you..?

---

You smile and laugh with everyone.
But your eyes.
That look, in your eyes.
Looks fake.
Sorry, but that pair of eyes of yours...
Doesn't have the sincerity.

You became better and better in lying.
But you can't fool me.
You can't fool us.
No more.