2 days left and I feel awful - Stressed out

I feel awful.
I feel stress.
Totally.. stressed out.

Things are not going as I planned. As we planned.
Things are.. getting worse.
I feel like crying. I just feel like it, but I didn't.

Thanks Chucky and Sakura-chan for comforting me.

Chucky, you are right. I shouldn't stress myself too much for things that I can't control.

It's my own fault to be happy too early... haha.

This is hard.. so hard...
But I knew that having responsibilities is not an easy task.
I still am doing this because I like it and doing this makes me happy.

But my heart hurts... 2 days left and I am still unprepared.
I am getting headaches...

Neko is right. The reason I have a lot of things unprepared is not because I am doing lots of things, it's because I didn't seek help.
I didn't ask anyone to help me. I guess I was.. selfish. Is this considered as selfish too?
I don't know what to call myself.
I think I am able to do all these myself.
But instead, I am stressing out and panicking all by myself in the end.
I should've ask help from others.
But..
I don't know who to ask help from, and I am so used in doing things on my own.
I guess I need to change in this...
Why didn't I ask help?
Do I really think I am that great that I am able to do things on my own?
Or am I afraid that no one will help me?
Or I just don't trust anyone else except myself?

Maybe.. maybe I should.. change a bit of myself..
Stop going Solo.. and get a Party/Team instead...
It's not that I can't work toegther...
When someone asked for my help, I help them.
It's just that.. when it comes to myself..
I don't seek help.. I only help others...
I don't dare to ask for help...

I think I need some guidance... :'(

Strong =)

Lots of stuffs have been happening lately.
New problems, old matters,
But nothing can get me down. =)
Never gonna give up, as nothing is impossible.
It will be hard, but I believe I can.
I believe we can.
Don't give up, as it makes us stronger.
I am strong. Well at least I feel so XD
We can never please everyone, so don't mind it at all.
Think positive. Let the negative thoughts be history.
We aren't wrong, so don't let them think that they are right.
I'll do my best. Will you?

I fired myself

Yeah, I 'resigned'...

I'm still not sure what to do after next Monday.

Either I get a new job, or take culinary/pastry course for my future plan.

*sigh*

Now busy with lots of projects, comic, cosplay, performance...

I like to do all these, but to do all these at once...

Now I know hard and tiring it is... @_@

Teh Loli Drama

Never ending internetz loli drama lulz

I is amused

RISING

IT IS RISING

THE TIME IS COMING

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

okay... enough sawan-ing

Why oh why it has to be on the same date??????????!!!

T_T


To prepare for this debut....... argh!!!!

=_=''' @work

Tired with so many phone calls...
A huge pile of papers haven't been filed in yet...

urgh...

err... seriously?

Is he serious this time?? @_@

I mean like... Seriously???

...

Lolz... wtf hahahaha I find it funny sorry.... *rofl*

Randomness + GG-ness

GG!!!!

Haha... omg so many things to do... so many things to think of...
My head's gonna blow up...!

GG-ness!! GG!! GG!!!!!! Aaahhhhhhh!!!!

I know.. this post is random... and is wasting your time to read it... lol

Friend

My friend,
I am trying to help you.
I am trying to save you.

But...

Only you yourself can really save yourself.

I know everyone makes mistakes,
and even though we want to avoid from making mistakes or gets into trouble,
I know it's not easy.
We ended up doing the mistake and gets into the middle of the trouble.

There are still a lot of things you don't know, or don't understand.
No matter how much you say you do.

I just hope you won't make a very very big mistake.
And also hope you will end this stupidity of yours soon.

Because I care,
Because I'm your friend.

And so....

Maybe I will update this blog with weird posts and images.

Something like Mudkips.

Or like my previous entries below.

I like to post random images. But I'm worried if I post at my other blog, it might scare people away lol.

So might as well I post here instead :P



Miku. She is still my favourite. <3

Puddings and Pancakes

Title not related.

I think.

--------------------

Been stressed these few days.

I think I should...



















Breath in...


... Breath out














I need to calm down and relax.

And tell myself that everything will be fine.

Life's like this.
I can't be happy all the time.

Ini hanyalah dugaan yang harusku lalui...


I still have alot of things to do.

I have responsibilities.

I'll stay strong =)

Thank you to those who cared about me, and helped me get over my problem.

I love you all =)

I love you lou gong ^^





In return,



Horo.


I learned my lesson... ;_; no pinch pinch

\_(o_o)_/

I love pikachu



But why?



D:



...




Even mudkip don't liek me ):

Unwell

Recently, I have this feeling like some people are beginning to hate me, talk bad or gossiping behind my back.

Is it true? Or am I thinking too much?

:-\

I hope it's just a stupid thought of mine... >_<



Suddenly feel like singing this song:

All day
Staring at the ceiling Making
friends with shadows on my wall

All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be Me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be

Unwell - Rob Thomas

My 1st DnD session + Voice actress?

So... I decided to try DnD - Dungeons & Dragons.
And I love it. No regrets at all.

Our 1st session was on the 19th January 2008(Saturday).
It's suppose to start on 1pm, but because we had a RaveJoint gathering at Ssam Station for lunch earlier we ended up late and started around 2pm instead. Sorry KC :P

We spent 4 hours just to build our character sheets.
And of course, I chose my favourite class, the one who can heal.
I chose Cleric over Druid, because I think that suits me better. Haha.

Meet Chloe Althea Purdenius:



Robby call her Cleron though. And he insists that Cleron should be Chloe's nickname.

Check out my latest Deviantart journal post. He drew some very cute fan art of Cler.. I mean Chloe. :3

IRTeA's DeviantArt

It was crazy. Chaotic. Totally.
But it was fun. I laughed too much it hurts my jaw. Lol.

I can't wait for the next session. :)

--------------------------------------

20th January 2008 (Sunday)

Massy asked me if I can do some voice acting the day before.
She told me that I can get RM50 for doing that.
Of course I 1st ask her what kind of voice acting they need.
Since it's not p**n related, of course I want to.
RM50!! Who don't want money?? XD

It was fun!! I'm so glad I agree on doing this.
Now I feel like becoming a guest DJ too.
Of course, the one I did was recording, while the guest DJ needs you to say it 'live'.
But still, I can get money from it. So why not just try it out? :)

Happy New Year 2008!

Yah, that's right.
Now baru wishing everyone Happy New Year 2008!!

XD



The CSPians!

And I got my new dress :3
It's expensive but I did not regret buying it.
It's gorgeous!



And if I'm not wrong, it's actually a replica of this dress:




Haha!

Will wear this for CNY too!
Alot people said it suits CNY! XD

v(^_^)v HobbyCon Peace~

I know I know...
Now baru update my blog about HobbyCon!! XD;;

Sorry for the late update... haha...

Anyway...





I'm on the newspaper. Lolz.

:)

Me happy.

-------------------------------------------------------

HobbyCon Day 1: -

Nervous. Excited.
Happy. Scared.
Those were how I felt before HobbyCon started.

After the chairman's speech and our dance performance,




HOBBYCON STARTS!!

People were looking around at the booths...
But the most popular booth is the comic section..
Cos they were drawing! XD
And they gave out free sketches!^^

The cosplayers were walking around...
I was shocked and happy that there were so many cosplayers!!
*Hugs all cosplayers*








Alot people were taking pictures of us.
I'm so happy because that's what I wanted!!

The Popular Hare Hare Yukai dance :D



Success!! XD

------------------------------------------------

HobbyCon Day 2: -

Most of us wore loli dresses that day.
And we even had a tea party!

















Me and my dear <3

Before HobbyCon ended,
we performed a final Hare Hare Yukai dance...
I actually asked the others to join in as well,
well... It's not as much as the Japanese version...
But here ya go anyways ^^



After the dance...
HobbyCon 2007...

END



------------------------------------------------

Overall,

HobbyCon 2007 is a success!! \(^o^)/

Though it's a bit messy and not properly organized,
I am very satisfied because it's more than what I expected. :D

We still need to improve alot though,
but no worries,
I'm sure we'll be able to do that!

My personal favourite photo:



Yeah! Don't you dare mess with the cosplayers..
Especially female cosplayers + lolitas!
We got Hangmen as our bodyguard...
Mess with us and you'll regret it.


Credit to Julian.
Check out his blog :)


For more infos and pics about HobbyCon,
check out these links:



HobbyCon Official Blog

Julian@Lee Hng's Blog

Maslight/Massy's Blog

Flanegan's Blog

sr215's Blog

Acom's Blog

Sir-George's Blog

Doridori/Rumil's Blog

Hangmen's Blog

1 more week~!

HobbyCon!!

I can't believe it... time flies so so fast...

1 more week to go and it's the HobbyCon...

I feel proud to be part of it.

Got my cosplay costume already.

At 1st it looks pretty weird, and thought it's a little too big.

(It does actually)

But overall, it looks beautiful!!!

I love it!! <3

1st cosplay (minus the Sailormoon one XD )

Let's go!!

2nd time, after 7 years.

Tears.

2nd time when I couldn't hold my tears in 7 years,
because of accusal.

I don't care when people talk bad about me.

But I just couldn't resist accusal.

That's the worst feeling for me.

My whole body is cold and trembling. They saw that.

I couldn't control it.

It just hurt me so much.

It hurts me when someone accused me on something I didn't do.

It's a hurtful misunderstanding.

A very serious one.

I still feel like crying.

I'll try to be more mature.

But to forget what had happened, it's impossible.

I was hated, insulted and accused.

I am not going to complain.

This is the real world.

Good and bad things happens.

You can't please everybody.

But that won't gonna let me down just like that.

It's not the end of the world yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks CSP fellowers, you guys are really like a family to me.
I love you all.

Dear Anonymous

Anonymous said...

>>u wear lolita never make up\
>>u look stupid in pink
>>u so fat n ur softtoy is dirty n smelly n ugly dont show it
>>ur bag really is not a proper lolita bag
>>u always wear pink lolita dress only...
>>n ur pink stinky dress is not maid style ok
>>ur face very ugly n u very fat
>>n ur lao gong n like to show his tummy
>>plz live in tis world with mature way
>>n u not live in a pudding land u live in a stupid land with stupid ppl
>>u have no taste at all

Hello dear anonymous:

Thanks for viewing my blog! =D
And thanks for your comments, this is the 1st time I get this kind of comments!! ^^

I don't know who you are, but it seems that you don't know much about Lolita Culture. But it's ok, it does take some time to learn. Like me, 1 year ago I was really really a noob in this Lolita Culture. But at least I had improve! ;D

I did wear make up, natural look is the best you know! =D
Heavy make up makes the skin not good and it's like 'hiding your real face'.

I look stupid in pink? Hmm... Why is that? How can the color pink make someone look stupid? Hmm... So if I wear other color then I can look clever? Waw I just know that!

I may be not thin, but I am not fat either. I don't know if you can tell the difference though. Or maybe you are too skinny like a skeleton that made you think I'm so fat? Poor you...
My softtoy is smelly and ugly and you ask me to not show it? Waw you can smell the item through images in the computer! Unfortunately I think you have a bad sense of smell and eyesight, because it isn't dirty nor smelly, and I don't think it's ugly at all! Maybe you think sh*t is cleaner, smells nicer and pretty?

Ah, my bag, yea I guess so. You're right. But no worries I got some new loli bags already. And someone told me it's good to 'Mix & Match'. But I know how to match it right, so no worries. ^^

Hm... It seems that you haven't saw my Friendster profile? I wear a lot kinds of lolita dresses already. Maybe you should go check it out. ^^

That one, my dear, is maid style sweet lolita. Make good use of the internet. It can help you alot. =)

Hm... So you think my face is very ugly and I'm very fat? 9 people says no and 1 say yes. That 1 person is you. So you lose. =)

My lou gong got cute round tummy! ^^ weeee got big round tummy means happy, healthy and wealthy you know!
There's this couple husband and wife,the wife is sooo skinny like a skeleton while the husband is fat and short and he shows tummy too! Haha!

I do live this world in a mature way, maybe you can't see it. But it's ok. I also hope you will live this world in a mature way, not flaming other people with your random comments which doesn't make any sense at all.

I like puddings. =D
And yes, I do live in a stupid land with stupid ppl. That's why I met a stupid people like you ;D

I do have taste. I can taste all the food and they taste great! =D


Thanks again, dear anonymous.

Gothic, Lolita and Punk Pro?

Lolz.

What a funny thing happened in the forum.

Don't know much about Lolita culture yet trying to correct me. Haha!

And didn't even bother to finish read and re-read other people's comments.

Misunderstood what people said yet talking like a smartass.

"No offence but this and that and bla bla bla"

"Those pic are specially taken for our promotion banner for GLP party banner.so the 1 u posted is not been edited yet.so,be understanding.u might c its different after edited. And regarding the fishnet sock, is to give the impression of gothic side of that lolitas. There's many types of lolitas, so this is 1 of it. And y there's 1 "punk" standing in the middle of them....well,our theme of the gathering is GLP,gothic/PUNK/Lolitas.so,it's one of the theme.so please understanding.ppl won't get misunderstanding if the photos has been edited."

And asking me to be understanding because the photo not yet been edited??

LOL what kind of crap is that??

So the outfits are only for taking photos, and edit them, and then put them in the internet?
Not for wearing outside?

Hahahahahaha

Anyway I said 'people misunderstood Lolita with Punk fashion' is because some random people I found in Friendster saw a model of yours wearing Lolita but they said it's Punk, you mis-read it and misunderstood me. Try re-read the comments if you're English is not so good =D

"i dun find there's problem if they remain cool.may i ask u sumthing, did u ever c punk/gothic lolita smile when they take photos.sorry,no offence...."

Ya I also don't have problem with that. But... Excuse me? Punk/Gothic Lolita??
I'm sorry but that one is not Punk nor Gothic Lolita.................. You have a lot more to learn.

I just knew about that Punk can't smile when take photos... is it true??

"i personally dun think it's nice with normal type of lolitas socks"

"yeah, country loli never wear fishnet,but on her, she looks better with fishnet.sorry no offence......"

What did you say?

Hahahaha all your posts are funny!!

You personally think it's not nice, and you agree with me Country Lolita don't wear fishnets stockings, but the model looks better with the fishnets. Hmm...

And btw I don't really understand what are talking about here:

"ok,there's nothing wrong if ppl insist to wear fishnet eventhough it's not original lolita wear.cause it may shows the sexy side of the loli.but not in that red loli,cause it's more to country yes. u r rite....."


Anybody can explain to me?
I hope I can understand it one day. When my English is very very good.

"thanks for the passion on lolita, i really appreciated it."


I also thank you for all your hard work on posting those comments.
I also appreciate it, really.
Because you just gave me a new topic to blog!! XD